As I cross the road, I notice a lady on the other side looking like she is going for a sleep over at a guy’s place, don’t ask me how I knew. I could judge from the pink bag on her back-it must be carrying an extra pant, a toothbrush, some make up if at all she does make up and maybe or maybe not ‘protection’.( I am avoiding the word condom but I have said it anyway.) These days even ladies carry them so I would not be shocked if a lady came to my place with a pair or so. After all, that would be so awesome because I can spare the few I had for another rainy day. Haha, before you get me wrong, I am a keen observer of opus dei and some of these things you people do, I read them in magazines or the ‘X-rated’ movies.
Back to my story. Now with my kiherehere, I decide to wait for her and see whose cow is this taking herself to the slaughter house? It doesn’t take long before Jonte appears from a nearby shop to pick her, let’s call her Maria. Maria appears to be very naïve from the way she hugs Jonte. Maybe I have been in this business for a long time so I know who has been there longer than I have been and those just starting out. Luckily, we were headed to the same direction, so I interrupt their conversation.
‘Poa Sid. Ndio unaenda kejani saa hii?’ I knew that was supposed to distract me from the lady he now appeared not to be with. I play along really well and after a few pleasantries, I turn to Maria.
‘Hi, I am Sid, a friend to Jonte, you?’ She is flattered in the way I said that and shies away. It’s not even the way I had said it, she shied away because of how I talked as I looked into her eyes. To intimidate Jonte, I pulled her aside and got into some deep conversation with her. But you see, he had pretended he was not with her so why not just pull her aside and see how he reacts. You know that look a guy gives you if he realizes a hot guy is flirting with his chic. I don’t mean I was more handsome than he was but mmmmmhhh I was afadhali. Even the lady can confess. We can talk about how hot I am some other day. For now, let me tell you what happened.
The looks he gave me did not scare me so I went ahead with the conversation, not because I was interested in the lady but was just having that fun that gets another guy intimidated and is exactly what I was doing. Kidogokidogo, Jonte signaled me, a signal meant to mean, ‘wacha ufala Sid, huyo n idem yangu.’ I didn’t want want to exaggerate what I was doing so I let Maria go but not after having her contacts in my kabambe phone. We went our ways, me going to my place as Jonte and his potential girlfriend went to his house. Wait, I said girlfriend because I am not sure if they were an item. All the while I have known Jonte, he has been a ‘chips funga’ kind of guy where he takes a lady to his place for some time and when the lady just starts feeling at home and is settling, he be like ‘bitch, I am not ready for relationships now, I want to settle first and then we can see if we are compatible.’ And boom! You’ll be out of his house.
Fast forward, I meet Maria about four days later and we strike like we’ve been best of friends. We taaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeed and later that evening, we started texting each other. Our conversations were very honest and not long after, she was telling me everything about her. Everything. I did more listening than speaking. We talked about everything from food to travel, relationships to family, school to career. Much of that information was not of benefit to me but why not if someone has decided to give you company of endless and diverse stories? Mi ni nani nikatae! I listened especially that night. Plus, I sleep very late so why not get company…
About 12.05am and in the middle of a movie-The Spy who Dumped Me, I see a text on my kabambe.
‘Sid, can I trust you? And know that I don’t trust anybody in this life.’
I take a while before I text back because I didn’t want to mess and give the wrong response or a response that would send wrong signals. Such a question normally comes when someone wants to tell you something very confidential and when it’s a lady, makes it even more interesting. Without a second thought, I decide to brainstorm to get the best possible response that would make her tell me even the most secret information about herself. With confidence, I text her back.
‘Maria, I am the most trustworthy guy you’ve met in a really long time if not all your life. I also understand that you have never trusted me before so you might be having reservations about trusting me but on a second thought don’t you think there is a first time for everything? Trust me this time round and you will find enough reason to trust me all your life. And the moment to trust me begins right now on a count of one, two, three.’
I paused the movie as I waited for her response. In my head, I had made up my mind that if the text I had sent to her did not convince her to trust me, I would make a call and cause her to trust me, mark you, I am a very sweet person especially with my words. ‘Trrrrrriiiiiiiing’ my phone rang.
‘Wow. Sid, you are so sweet. Where have you been all this time? Where have you been?’
Hahahahahaha. That is how I laughed when I read that text. Only if she knew this was a trap. Anyway, let’s just say I was honest and yeees I was or at least I sounded to be.
‘I have been feeling sickly from last evening. I have never been into a serious relationship and the other day just got into something serious. And for the first time, I had sex without protection. I am not sure about the sickly feeling but I am thinking I am pregnant Sid. I already bought the pregnancy kit and tomorrow, I will take the test and give you the results. I have to sleep now. Goodnight Sid.’
Boom! It was that moment of, ‘Why are you even going to tell me the results of your pregnancy test and I have nothing to do with it?’ All the same, I am still waiting for the results. Let me check my phone if there is any text from her.